Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
