just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize