Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
a search helicopter?!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
