U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
