Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Welp...herpes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize