Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
