never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
