operation have a gay friend backfired
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
