What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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