i think my mom watched the whole time
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
did i just pee glitter
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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