were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
