I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize