pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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