Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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