Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
