Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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