Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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