she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
