you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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