no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
