I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
