God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize