he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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