My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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