i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
