He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
