So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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