we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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