I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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