He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
