I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
