I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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