i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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