The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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