Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
