If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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