I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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