and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you mean i was at the winter classic?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
