He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
