Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
