Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
