I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
