our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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