It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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