11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
