she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
