He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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