There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
