i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
love makes seman taste better
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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