Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
