Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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