just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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