A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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