im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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