You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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