Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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