So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
3pm strippers are depressing
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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