Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
