It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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