I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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