Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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