alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize