3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
