But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
