there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
