I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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