Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You made out with two different species that night
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
