So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
