BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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