your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
