Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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