I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize