Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
