But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
well you can't waste a boner
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
